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When Brian Met Heather Mehitable: The story is typically simple, of two typically simple-minded humans, looking for love - as all typical humans do - and finding each other in an otherwise chaotic world. <yawn> Could it be any more boring? I don't think so. Skye: <pant, pant, drool> Mehitable: <looking at Skye> You're disgusting. Skye: Thu storee isunt THAT simpul. The big yello hayr laydee was goink tu kollij at Ahh-sweeee-go for theetur. The big furree man was wurking in Rahhhh-ches-turr. Thay livd so farr frum eech uthur that thay normullee woodunt hav meeted eech othur if it wusunt for fayt. <sticking out tongue at Mehitabe> Mehitabel: <rolling eyes.> Yeah. If you say so, genius boy. You've got it all figured out, don't you? Skye: Yeh, yeh. <drooling as he nods> So the big furree man roat a lettur to "love@aol.com" and mayd a speshul payj for singul laydees to see. Thu big yllow hayr laydee sawl it and thunk he wuz reelee cyut so shee mayld thu big furree man a speshul compyutur lettur and he reeded it and roat bak to hur. Mehitabel: Yes, Love@aol.com <rolling eyes>. Can we say "DESPERATE?" Skye: Hay, i doant think they wuz despurit. They r bolth reelee cyoot and pritty and nyse peepul and thay wurent despurit! You bee kwyit yoo meen kat! Mehitabel: Oh, really, you scare me. <rolling eyes> What are you going to do, blast a bit of gas in my direction, stinkboy? I'm frightened. Honestly. Can't you see me shivering? Skye: pttttttttttt Mehitabel: You're disgusting. Skye: Hahaha i doant cayr beekuz yoo r stoopid and i em smart. Mehitabel: Yeah, and the world knows it, Skye. You're a genius. Get back to the story. Skye: So thu big furree man askt if the big yello hayr laydee wud meet him at mikdonaldz for sum nys conversayshun and a cheesbugr. shee sed yes and wnt to mikdonaldz to wayt foar him. he wuz layt bekuz of to manee snow flayks and he cudunt mayk it to mikdonaldz do he went bak hoam and cald hur to mayk anuthur dayt with hur. Mehitabel: Naturally, she was a bit put off about that one. How dare he blow her off on the First Date? Snow? Bah! If he was really tough, he would have braved the elements for her. Afterall, he jumps out of airplanes for FUN. A little snowstorm shouldn't have bothered him! Had I been in her shoes, I would have told him to buzz off, but for some insane reason, she stuck it out and agreed to a second meeting. <sky: <snapping at a fly circling his head> Mehitabel: <poking Skye> Hey, numpty. You're on. Skye: Huh? O, yeh! So thu big furree man askt if hee cud meet hur agen and shee sed yes so he tryd agen and it wuz snowing agen, butt not so bad as the furst tym. Butt hiz car broak down and he wuz gettink vary layt foar hiz dayt so he cald the yello hayr laydee on thu foan and toald hur he wud be layt and shee sed ok. Mehitabel: Yes, he's not really well-known for his "punctuality." Skye: Hay be kwiet its mi turn. Mehitabel: No, I think you're mistaken. It's my turn. Hey, isn't that a floating sheep? <pointing> Skye: <frantic> WHAYR??? <running in circles> Mehitabel: As I was saying, he was late, but he finally made it to their first meeting. She, being a ridiculous romantic, felt it was love at first sight, and he was rather smitten as well. They stayed up into the wee hours talking about everything that came into their feeble minds. B-o-r-i-n-g. People are so predictable. <looking around for Skye> Yo! Dog! DINNER! Skye: <Running back into the room> WHAYRE??? Mehitable: I said, it's YOUR turn. Skye: I toald you it wuz! Yoar MEEN! Mehitabel: Yeah, get over it. Continue with the story before I finish it for you. Skye: ummmm ok, and then thay got thu nysist, funnist, pritteeist dog in thu wurld and thay livd hapillee evur aftur. amen. Mehitabel: And that's it? Skye: Oh yeh, and then thu nysist, funnist, pritteeist dog in thu wurld ayt thu stoopidest kat in thu wurld and evreewun wuz happee forevur. amen. <CHOMP> Brian: Skye, that's not very nice. Spit the cat out. Skye: Mwwwfffumpydooofffumpaaa Heather: <threatens Skye with the squirt gun> Skye: Ptoooie <spits cat out> <cat runs away covered in drool> Heather: Well, Skye, I think it's safe to say she won't be helping you with your story anymore, will she? Skye: <drool> noe shee woant butt i doant cayr beekuz shee iz stoopid Heather: Brian? Shall we tell them how the story REALLY ended? Brian: I think that's a great idea, Heather! Heather: Brian and I fell in love, and after the end of my semester at SUNY Oswego, I packed up my sewing machine and moved to Rochester. We found a cute little apartment in Lima, NY and lived there for a while. We got involved with those wild, fun, crazy theatre folks in Mendon and were cast in their annual melodrama. I was the heroine, and Brian was the gallant hero. Brian: Yep! It was kinda like the script was written for us. In fact, if I didn't know any better, I'd say it WAS written for us! I mean, how often do you get to pair up with your girlfriend and plan a melodramatic wedding at the end of each show? Wouldn't you call that the opportunity of a lifetime? Heather: I sure would! And you grabbed that opportunity and took a pretty big leap of faith there! Brian: Hehehe. You should've seen it coming a mile away, baby! Heather: Blonde? <points at hair> But why don't you just show them the clip, honey? Brian: Great idea! Roll camera! Click here to see the proposal video (1.8 MB file. For those of you using dial-up, this might take a while) Heather: The only thing running through my mind was "HOW ARE WE GOING TO FINISH THE SHOW?!?!?!!" Brian: <laughing> But we finished it - and things have been fabulous ever since. Last summer we bought a big old farm house, and we're doing lots of remodeling to prepare for the upcoming wedding! Heather: Yep! So bring your chainsaws and come on over - ANYTIME! Brian: For the woods. . . Heather: What? Brian: The woods - to chainsaw the WOODS, not the house. Heather: Oh! Right! <giggle> Brian: So that's our story up till now! If you want to see the final episode, COME TO THE WEDDING ON JUNE 12th!
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